Stop worrying and start living - P2

It’ was 7.30 P.M. on Sunday. I was lying in my bed. My bed sheet was damp with tears. I must have been crying for an hour. I was worried and had cried for a reason. Though the tears did soften my worry, it made me wonder… did I have to get worried in the first place?
“Don’t worry, be happy” Are words we’ve all heard sometime or the other. But is it really as easy? One of the philosophers said “Worry is a kind of mental disease which arises due to wrong calculations”. In simple words, worry is just a way of thinking and responding to certain events in life. We worry when something doesn’t happen as expected or when there is a lack of wisdom and trust.
This leads to stress, affects our health and mind and hinders our performance. If we stop worrying, we can all lead a much happier and healthier, longer life.
So, how can we stop worrying? Let me share one method that the great philosopher vethathiri had come up with.
To begin with, take a paper and write down whatever you are worried about. For example,
"I am worried that my boss will fire me."
"I am worried about the financial crisis the world is facing today." etc
Now, we are ready to analyze our worries.
In general, all our problems which make us worry are divided into four groups.
1. Problems that must be faced
2. Problems that must be postponed (which must be solved by society in its own phase)
3. Problems that must be ignored
4. Problems that must be solved immediately.

Let’s take a look at them.
1. Problems that must be faced:
These are problem we need to cope up with and cannot always solve. e.g, my mother is bedridden. Even the best of the neurologists cannot help her walk. I want to show my mother our beautiful Mysore campus but she cannot walk. The thought of her being immobile hurts me and that was what I had cried for on Sunday.
But will my tears or worries help her walk again? Will she be happy seeing my worried face? No. So what can I do?
The best I can do is to be happy and cheerful and help everyone else at home be cheerful too. I need to look for treatment options but worrying will not get help me any. Instead, I can help her to walk with a walker, help her be independent in her day today activities and learn to live with a smile on my face. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but this is the best way to face this problem and with time, I will.
2. Problems that must be postponed or solved when time comes:
Some of problems cannot be solved immediately; they will be solved with time. E.g: A mother is searching for a suitable girl for her son for the past 1 year. She is unable to find a match and his marriage is getting delayed. All she can do in this case, is continue her efforts and she will find the right girl for her sometime later.
3. Problems that must be ignored:
Some of the problems should be ignored than worry about them. e.g: if people are making fun of a man for his looks, what he can do about this? He has to ignore the comments and carry on with his life. Worrying about his looks or comments will not help. We must learn to ignore such things.
4. Problems that must be resolved immediately.
Some problems can’t wait and will only increase if they are not taken care of immediately. e.g: I am not feeling well and have a headache for the past 1 week. In this case, there is no point in waiting for it to get better. I need to go to the doctor immediately and have a check up. Health related issues or issues in the team need to be addressed immediately.
Now that you know these categories well, just classify your problem and work on it or ignore it appropriately. We need not worry about things we have no control over, they are not in our hands. We need not worry about problems that we have control over, we just need to act upon them. So why worry at all?
Stop worrying and start living!

This is my project2 in Toastmasters club.

Firstsight-Kerala

11/21:
It was Friday. I started to Trivandrum from Mysore by 7.30 P.M. I was little scared/worried since this was a first trip for me to kerala and the travel time was 15 hours. Fortunately, one of my friend vineetha was also there in the same bus. I got a travel partner. I was relaxed and happily started to sleep. I reached Trivandrum at 10.30 the next day. I thanked god for the safe journey that I had. Last two travels which I had when I visit last time home was delayed by 2 hours for various reasons.
11/22:
Muthu, who is one of my close friends for the past 8 years, received me well in Trivandrum. Weather was chill and it was drizzling. I went to her home and took bath and got ready to have breakfast. Muthu’s grandma had prepared very good breakfast for us. Breakfast contained “kollu chutney” which is my all time favorite. Ate well and browsed the net for some time. We went to movie called “vaaranam aayeram” as planned. I liked the movie since Suriya had played many roles in different dimension in that movie. After the movie we went to park and came home at 7 P.M and had good dinner and slept off early. Tiredness gave me a deep sleep.
11/23:
I got up from the bed early. Early to me is 8 A.M on Saturday. I made coffee for me as well as muthu’s grandma. She started to talk about muthu saying “she will sleep till 12 P.M and will not have food properly, she will not listen to me” I was quietly listening to her.
We have planned on the previous day to go to veli beach, so I took bath and kept hot water for muthu as well. We got ready to roam for the day. We were well dressed. I worn muthu’s pink t-shirt which I liked the most. I also drove her vehicle with lesser confidant for some time. We reached veli beach after lot of struggles with the route. Beach was excellent. I liked the most. I always wanted to visit Chennai only to see the beach. It satisfied me. I somehow liked to sit and watch the waves and think about nature’s movements in the water. This situation reminded the time that I had with sathya, mangai and muthu in Chennai, holding their hands. I always felt very safe and comfortable when I hold their hands.
After enjoying the sightseeing went to floating restaurant to have tea and checked the weight there. Unfortunately it didn’t decrease as I expected due to bad cough. It was the same as “xx” kg. I have think of some options not to increase further more. We started back to home at 12 P.M. we reached home and had lunch and started to thiruvella for the marriage. I and muthu reached thiruvella at 7 P.M. Trivandrum to thiruvella is 3 hours of journey. We stayed in the hotel called “Elite” in that night after the dance party in suby’s house.
We had a very good dinner in suby’s house.
11/24:
Muthu left thiruvella at 8A.M. We started from the suby’s house to church at 10:30 A.M. for marriage. It was in church. We went to marriage by car. Without knowing the place, we were roaming around the place for long time. Weather was too cool. It was a good experience. Without knowing Malayalam , we were trying to find a place. We finally reached the place at 11.30. It is a good place. Both of them were dressed well. Shino also were looking good and composed. We had a good food. We started from there to hotel and refreshed and got ready and again started to Kottayam bus stand to get bus to Ernokulam.
Atlast we got a bus to ernokulam at 4.30 P.M. it is 3 hours journey from ernokulam to kottayam. Train timings were 6.50 P.M. Bus reached to ernokulam bus stand at 6.40. We ran to ernokulam station. We entered into train and train started. We had a good dinner at train. Naveen and bibin has got good dinner for all of us. We had banana chips along with dinner.
11/25:
We have reached at 8.30 A.M. to Bangalore station. I jumped into bus stand to catch Volvo bus to mysore. I reached to mysore at 11.30.