It’ was 7.30 P.M. on Sunday. I was lying in my bed. My bed sheet was damp with tears. I must have been crying for an hour. I was worried and had cried for a reason. Though the tears did soften my worry, it made me wonder… did I have to get worried in the first place?
“Don’t worry, be happy” Are words we’ve all heard sometime or the other. But is it really as easy? One of the philosophers said “Worry is a kind of mental disease which arises due to wrong calculations”. In simple words, worry is just a way of thinking and responding to certain events in life. We worry when something doesn’t happen as expected or when there is a lack of wisdom and trust.
This leads to stress, affects our health and mind and hinders our performance. If we stop worrying, we can all lead a much happier and healthier, longer life.
So, how can we stop worrying? Let me share one method that the great philosopher vethathiri had come up with.
To begin with, take a paper and write down whatever you are worried about. For example,
"I am worried that my boss will fire me."
"I am worried about the financial crisis the world is facing today." etc
Now, we are ready to analyze our worries.
In general, all our problems which make us worry are divided into four groups.
1. Problems that must be faced
2. Problems that must be postponed (which must be solved by society in its own phase)
3. Problems that must be ignored
4. Problems that must be solved immediately.
Let’s take a look at them.
1. Problems that must be faced:
These are problem we need to cope up with and cannot always solve. e.g, my mother is bedridden. Even the best of the neurologists cannot help her walk. I want to show my mother our beautiful Mysore campus but she cannot walk. The thought of her being immobile hurts me and that was what I had cried for on Sunday.
But will my tears or worries help her walk again? Will she be happy seeing my worried face? No. So what can I do?
The best I can do is to be happy and cheerful and help everyone else at home be cheerful too. I need to look for treatment options but worrying will not get help me any. Instead, I can help her to walk with a walker, help her be independent in her day today activities and learn to live with a smile on my face. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but this is the best way to face this problem and with time, I will.
2. Problems that must be postponed or solved when time comes:
Some of problems cannot be solved immediately; they will be solved with time. E.g: A mother is searching for a suitable girl for her son for the past 1 year. She is unable to find a match and his marriage is getting delayed. All she can do in this case, is continue her efforts and she will find the right girl for her sometime later.
3. Problems that must be ignored:
Some of the problems should be ignored than worry about them. e.g: if people are making fun of a man for his looks, what he can do about this? He has to ignore the comments and carry on with his life. Worrying about his looks or comments will not help. We must learn to ignore such things.
4. Problems that must be resolved immediately.
Some problems can’t wait and will only increase if they are not taken care of immediately. e.g: I am not feeling well and have a headache for the past 1 week. In this case, there is no point in waiting for it to get better. I need to go to the doctor immediately and have a check up. Health related issues or issues in the team need to be addressed immediately.
Now that you know these categories well, just classify your problem and work on it or ignore it appropriately. We need not worry about things we have no control over, they are not in our hands. We need not worry about problems that we have control over, we just need to act upon them. So why worry at all?
Stop worrying and start living!
This is my project2 in Toastmasters club.